"Life Happens. It sucks, but it happens."
I feel like this is my excuse for everything: I was going to go to the Texas Tech baseball game, but life happened and I had to do other things. I was going to call you, but life happened. I've been studying, but couldn't study enough because -- wait for it -- life happened.
Especially since 2014 started.
In my defense, life really threw some curve balls, but as I was sitting at the Tech baseball games this weekend I started thinking.
I love these games. Why have I not been to more of them? Oh, wait. I know. Life happened.
I only have one complete baseball season left before I graduate. Shit. That's three semesters until graduation. What have I been doing? I have no idea what to do with my life.
I love these games. I feel at home here, not as much as home as I do on a balance beam competing -- but it's a close second. Where have I been? Oh. Life happened.
I'm so tired of saying life happened. I'm so tired of the excuses. I want to live my life and do things because I want to no matter what else I have going on. I want to be happy because life happens and it sucks, but what makes it worth it are the little things that make you smile because that's life, too.
So often, I think the only things on our minds -- especially mine -- is the negativity, the planning, the protection, the strings, the pain. But, life doesn't have to suck. It doesn't have to be negative.
I want to be happy. I want to open my heart to everything. It's a journey, but it's worth it. Dwelling on the crap doesn't make the problems go away. In all reality, dwelling makes it worse, so much so that it can consume you. That's not living, and life was meant to be lived completely.
I want to live. I want to experience everything life has to offer: travel, true love, lifelong friends. The problem is I can't enjoy any of those things if I'm not happy with my choices, with myself. I can't enjoy them if I stress myself out. I can't enjoy them if I'm not my caring, independent, rebellious, intelligent, gypsylike self.
Happiness attracts positive things.
I need to be me. I need to laugh. I need to have fun. I need to achieve my dreams. So that means more baseball games, more writing, more reading, more art. Maybe, I'll finally learn how to play my guitar -- anyone out there willing to teach me?
I need to be happy because life happens, and it sucks, but the sucky parts don't rule my life. They don't control me. I control myself and my actions. I control my response.
But life happens.
It's the good, the bad, the ugly, the curves, the lessons, the experiences, the people.
Life happens.
So I breathe in and out, go to yoga, to church, exercise, coach, write, attend classes, attend baseball games, and I'm happy because even though life can suck, I'm alive to fight another day for myself, my family, my independence, my dreams, and I wouldn't have it any other way because as long as there is fight, there is hope. And, in the end, I know everything will be OK because the curve balls suck, but I won't give up.
